Ninja Terminator

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Posted On: December 11, 2009
Posted In: Action Movies, All Movies, Kung Fu Fighting, Kung Fu Movie Reviews, Kung Fu Movies, Martial Arts Movies, Ninja Movies, Ninjitsu
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Ninja Terminator is the King of Bad 80’s Ninja Movies! Its got it all Richard Harrison, Bad dubbing, bad dialogue, an insane and senseless plot line, gratuitous violence, and an endless array of black clad, sword wielding Ninjas! As with all the other ninja movies by Godfrey Ho, what we are witness too here is a completely separate and non-ninja related film into which some newly shot ninja footage has been spliced, whilst an illusory link between the two unrelated stories is created and sustained by the over dubbing. Its an old school Ninja Movie mash-up!
It has to be said, that in the vast majority of these cut and splice ninja outings, only the ninja footage usually has any entertainment value. However, in the case of Ninja Terminator, BOTH…ahem…”‘movies”…prove to be highly enjoyable!
In the non-ninja sequences we have one ultra cool dude by the name of Jaguar Wong. A rough and tumble bad ass who gets in more fist fights in this one movie than most professional boxers have in their entire career. Of course with a bad ass name like Jaguar Wong, he is destined to put the smack down on all challengers. Although, he does get a little roughed up during the films climax by the always excellent Hwang Jang Lee.
The ninja sequences are equally as energetic with loads of sword play, acrobatics and people disappearing in plumes of smoke. Best of all Ninjitsu Master Richard Harrison: wearing heavy eye liner and mascara! Yet, after watching this ninja freak fest, I am still left with a few lingering questions:

1. Why does the villain wear a blond woman’s wig?
2. Why would a Ninja attack using several guns, a slingshot and a FOLDED PIECE OF PAPER?
3. What is with the Garfield phone?
4. What’s with the toy robot?
5. Do all Ninja’s wear tennis suits during their morning Ninja workouts?

If you figure any of this out….please let me know. In the meantime, I’ll be meditating on these important questions with more ferver than a Zen Buddhist Monk (Well…okay…maybe not). Enjoy! Thomas DiSanto